How To Not Get To Your Friends' Wedding On Time

Normally I would provide you with a summary of the things that occurred over the weekend. In this case, however, it pretty much consisted of:

1. Slept
2. Assisted the Chef in consolidating 3 closets into 1.5
3. Attended friends' wedding reception

-with 1 and 2 taking up the bulk of the time. Number 3? Well, there's the story and it's a horror - really every girl's nightmare come to life, so get ready.

A few weeks ago two of my close friends had a destination wedding in Mexico that the Chef and I were unable to attend *insert sad face here*. When Saturday rolled around we were really excited to attend the small reception they were having here in California for some of us who had missed their big day. The gathering was in the late afternoon and it was a perfect, warm summer day.

I laid out a cute dress, a pair of my fancy heels, picked out the accessories and got ready. Everything was set to go and we were even going to be on time (miracle). I had my shoes and handbag by the door, and the Chef and I were getting the card and gift together when he said, "UH, don't step there!" I glanced down and saw some grass on the hardwood floor - that's it, that's all I saw. I looked away and, when I looked back, thought he had removed it so proceeded to step down....into a pool of clear cat vomit laced with grass. This resulted in a yelp and a "UGH!! What was that?!?" as I hopped down the hallway on one foot as he hollered back to me, "Didn't you hear me say don't step down? There's cat barf! Did you step in it?!?" By that time I had stepped into the tub - fully dressed, hair and makeup perfect, sans shoes and bag - to rinse off my foot. I turned on the water and instead of it coming out of the tap, it shot out of the shower head - precisely as I looked up - shooting me in the face, on the hair, and all over my dress. Destruction on the low seas.

As a result we were 2 hours late to my friends' reception. We missed the pre-food visiting, the dinner, and the video of the wedding. Isn't that special? Not so much. Note to self: carefully check bathtub faucet settings the next time you step in cat barf on the way to a special event.