Info Burung Kicauan

Do you ever get in a funk and not even fully realize you're in it?  Yesterday I received a note from a dear friend (who is really more like family) reminding me that 3 years ago to the day we were in Hawaii for a special service commemorating the passing of another dear, dear friend of ours.  A wave of emotion and so many memories swept over me all at once.  That was a particularly special time, and trip, simultaneously filled with so much joy and sadness words really can't describe.

Just the other day I mentioned that I've been experiencing some sort of wardrobe crisis.  I chalked it up to boredom, maybe too much stuff or not being able to focus on the right stuff to pull things together; possibly the rainy, cool weather of the past couple of weeks.  Yet inside I knew it didn't add up - I lived in Washington State with buckets of rain for several years and those were some of the happiest days of my life - days that were not void of fun outfits.  This afternoon when I mentioned the passing of my friend to the Chef it suddenly dawned on me that it being this time of the year is probably the reason for my grey days.  The heart is an interesting thing.  As much as we think we've moved on from something in our mind - it is our heart that ultimately determines how far we've gone.  I guess I've still got a ways to go.

Tonight when I looked at pictures from that trip I remembered a different me - a more peaceful me.  My posts have been pretty somber lately.  Here's an attempt to turn the tide, even a little.

Kauai - October 2007

Is it possible to have a mid-wardrobe crisis?  I'm still in the LOST version of closet life (no not that closet, the one that holds my stuff) and have thought more than once that maybe this is like a mid-life crisis only of the apparel kind.  Hmmmm.  The fog did lift temporarily when I heard the magic delivery man scream out early this morning, "UPS FRONT DOOR!".  I, in turn, screamed, "CHEF, UPS FRONT DOOR!!" in a zombie-like state from my bed.  What?!  It was early (read before 10am), and I have no business scaring anyone who is gainfully employed with the way I look prior to noon.  Halloween's on Sunday.

It all started when I saw her wearing them here.  Carey is probably my favorite blogger out there - she and her husband, Rob, have the most witty, entertaining posts with the best outfit and cat pictures evah!  And you know how I am about the cats, people!  When I saw her in these shoes it was a like the light bulb went on and whispered, "must-have" ever so softly.  Since then I have been fighting the ol' Jessica Simpson Dany's tooth and nail with excuses like, "but they're Jessica Simpson!" (so rude yes, I know), "I'll trip and kill myself in those mothers - no can do!", and "what if I crack my head open?? I'm pretty sure my insurance won't cover that."  Last week I found them on sale and must have purchased them in a white out (just like Dr. Drew says Amber on Teen Mom has when she beats Gary's a** and can't really remember it) because suddenly a UPS shipment notification showed up in my email and there was no turning back.  Thank heaven.

Taking a temporary break from my series of Papua New Guinea posts, I thought we'd snuggly into another Bill of the Birds caption contest.

Please submit your clever caption for this photo (of my friend Dr. Steve Banner using his BWD bino harness in a Scandinavian hot spring) and if your entry is selected as the winner by our panel of judges, you'll receive an autographed copy of the currently out-of-print (and oh-so collectible) best-selling book "Bird Watching For Dummies."

Get it? Got it? Good!

I've got a confession to make:  I am absolutely uninspired by my wardrobe at present.  Whenever I think about an outfit post I enter the closet, become depressed, turn and walk out.  The solution is not buying more things to make an outfit.  Of that I am certain.  It doesn't take much to walk through Saks, Barneys or Bloomingdales (*or insert any retailer here*), buy a bunch of labels and put an outfit together - let's face it - it's label land.  It's just that, well, all of that has suddenly become very bland to me.  I think I'm having an existential closet crisis. 

Last week, after staring at Olivia Palermo's $1200 $895 (red alert friends!  I just got a note regarding price reduction!) Daryl K leather pants (Daryl K are you out there?  Carrie loves your pants and is a total hypocrite after her above statement, but still means every word) I decided that I, too, must find my way into something similar.  This led, of course, to a significantly less expensive pair at H&M - which I love nonetheless.  It took everything in me not to throw then on with a fave Tank Farm T, but I wasn't going to a metal concert or a biker bar.  Maybe next time. 

I had a completely different post planned for today, but then got the wise idea (last night after Project Runway at, oh, 10:30pm) that I neeeeded to bake some cookies.  Perfect.  They ended up turning out so well I decided to switch everything up and share them with you just in time for the weekend.

Right around the time I got diagnosed with Celiac a good friend gave me a dreamy little book entitled Hershey's Easy Baking.  I was so excited to try the recipes, but soon after realized I couldn't eat any of the things on the pages.  Every time I opened my recipe drawer and saw the book it pained me, but I still held onto it hoping one day things might change.  After much trial and error I figured out a good gluten-free flour blend that makes cookies taste just like regular flour ones...why I haven't tested out that blend on the recipes in this book before tonight I do not know, dear friends.  Things will be a changin' over here at Casa Carrie!  After tasting one of these cookies the Chef looked over and asked if I made them gluten-free.  And then he said I missed my calling and should be baking gf treats full-time for a living (mayjah compliment!).  Awww shucks, thanks Chef *blush*.


Hershey's Peanut Butter Blossoms
Ingredients

by Random Number Generator...Connie from SogniESorrisi


Connie - I'll send you an email to get your ring size, stone color preference and mailing address. 


Melinda's jewelry is wonderful and you can see it on full display at her site:  Melinda Maria - the pieces are incredibly unique and versatile.  It's candy for the eye!

Did you ever seen the "Serenity Now" Seinfeld episode?



All week long I've been whispering under my breath, "serenity now".

Too many deadlines, piles and piles of mail to go through, random cat fur balls in the corner of the livingroom, a counter that needs to be cleared off and laundry to the brim. People dancing on my last nerve.  Serenity now.

All I want to do is bake heaps of peanut butter cookies with mounds of chocolate in the center...and eat them all.  Food is not the answer.  Well maybe it is a little.  The Chef's cat has taken up residence on my lap - all day long.  She's nothing like my cats who are content to sit at my feet.  Instead she wants to be body half on the computer, body half on me slowly inching closer and closer to the keys until she finally goes in for the swat!  Not so helpful when you're trying to get a project accomplished, much less a blog post.  Last night it became apparent around, oh, eight o'clock that I was near the end of my rope.  I heard some clanking in the kitchen, but blocked it out.  A short while later a knock at the door brought one of my faves.  

The picture does not do this dish justice, but last night it was not about pictures or blog posts or making things pretty.  Last night was about reality.  And much needed serenity now.


Bacon and Jalapeño Mac 'n' Cheese
Ingredients: Serves 4

4C Macaroni noodles cooked (we use Ancient Harvest Gluten-Free Quinoa Elbow Macaroni)

*Sauce
6 Strips bacon chopped
3 Red 3 Green Jalapeño - seeds removed and small diced
2T Flour
2C Heavy cream
1C Aged white cheddar grated salt and pepper to taste

*Crust
1/2C Bread crumbs
1/4C Aged white cheddar grated
2T Butter softened
1T Cilantro chopped

Method
Crust
Combine all ingredients together.

Sauce
Preheat oven to 400.  Sauté bacon on low heat till crispy.  Add the jalapeno's and cook for 3 more minutes.  Stir in flour (he used my gluten free flour blend from an earlier post) and continue cooking for 5 minutes.  Slowly drizzle in the cream while stirring.  Bring the cream mixture to a boil then reduce to simmer for 5 minutes.  Turn off heat and whisk in cheese. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Hold warm.

To Finish
Place cooked noodles in desired cooking vessel.  Ladle sauce over noodles to cover.  Sprinkle crust over top.  Bake in oven 8-10 minutes till golden brown and bubbly.

Why do you think it is that people persist in being annoying over the pettiest of things?  Especially when they know exactly what they're doing, but think they're so smart that no one can see it?  It amazes me. One would think that with all the sad and more important things going on in the world focus would lie on those matters - rather than acting like children or, worse yet, cats in a bag.  Shakes head profusely.

Is it Friday yet?

Do you ever have those days when you walk by the mirror, happen to glance up and immediately think (and sometimes exclaim out loud), "What in the hell was that?!"  Sometimes I have to stay up late getting projects and updates prepared for the following day.  Other times I am so wound by bedtime that I put on the Felicity DVD's and float off to wonderland for an hour or two longer than I should (and then there's those Nancy Grace re-runs that happen at midnight...) only to wake up swatting the nightstands when the alarm goes off in the morning.  Stress and lack of sleep can take a lot out a person.  Aging is not much fun, either - and believe you me I am doing my best to fight that mother off with a fierce, but realistic, determination. 

The truth of the matter is we are going to age - and there is no reason not to do so gracefully and naturally.  To me, that means taking realistic preventative measures along the way to care for my skin and body in general.  Injections are not something I'm interested in (seriously.  did you catch the real housewives of beverly hills last week? it scared the hell right out of me).   The idea of injecting a foreign substance into my skin defies logic.  Who knows what the effects are going to be in 15-20 years when all that stuff starts to run its course.  I would much rather do simple things like get proper amounts of rest and exercise - as well as indulge in copious amounts of tea.  

Do you have any idea how good tea is for you??  Here are just some of its many benefits:

• Tea contains antioxidants that slow down the aging process by helping cells to regenerate and repair.
• Green tea, in particular, neutralizes free radicals (still not sure what those are exactly, but I know they're not good!) and helps to reduce fine lines and wrinkles.  Sign me up for 10 cups please!
• Black tea reduces cortisol - a stress hormone that your body produces - thereby helping you to process stress easier.  No wonder I've been so zen lately.  
• My dentist swears by it.  She asked me on one of my first visits if I was a tea drinker - which entirely freaked me out because I thought she was going to say my teeth were stained.  Nope.  Instead she said that tea drinkers have less cavities because it fights off plaque.  But you should rinse with water after drinking tea.  
• My acupuncturist is always ripping on me to drink more tea and not so much water.  She was an M.D. before becoming a Licensed Acupuncturist, so I listen to what she says more readily.  According to her, tea keeps you hydrated without flushing your body of nutrients.  I'm still drinking water, but I've replaced at least 3 glasses a day with tea. 

Fortunately for me I grew up in a family of tea drinkers.  I remember my first sip of my grandfather's English Breakfast.  Everyone chuckled thinking I'd run off...suckers - I sipped away at the whole cup!

Saturday afternoon found me in a hot mess of places I've temporarily sworn off of (think wallet restriction) - J.Crew, Free People, Zara, Barneys...  Why do I do this to myself?  Is it on purpose?  Perhaps to test my volition?  Quite honestly, I don't have a specific answer.  All I know is I escaped with wallet intact and two pairs of tights in bag. (Okay and a jacket.  But it was on steep sale so I get a pass).  Whatever the case, something wonderful happened as we strolled about - I was stopped at least ten times by women and men asking where I got my boots.  It's a wonderful feeling when you've leapt off your wallet for something you love only to find yourself twelve months later with strangers sharing your sentiments - especially when you're trying to save yourself from falling into boot cavern 2010. 

Making new friends is a treasured experience (present company included of course!), but there is something delicious about having old ones who know your secrets.  These are the relationships that don't require words, where trust has been built upon a firm foundation of shared good and bad times.  And so it goes, at least for me anyway, with my closet.  I love to go on the hunt for a new certain something - a dress, a unique ring or bangle for the jewelry collection, the perfect pair of jeans...or even better - the ultimate boot.  The act of discovering that "thing" is oftentimes just as exciting as the thing itself - but the relationship is truly put to the test once I get it home.  Is it as great as I thought it was?  Does it work with as many things as I'd anticipated?  Do I still want to wear it all the time after a couple of months?  Only the test of time will tell.  And so it has been with my military boots.  They have proven to be a never fail - I jumped at the chance to wear them in the summer when it was cool.  At first sight of fall I busted them out here in what turned out to be one of my favorite outfit posts yet.  And on Saturday they helped me to remember (as did everyone who complimented them) that I don't neeeeeeeeeed a new pair of boots.  Only a new pair of heels.  I kid, I kid!!

Here are my top ten reasons why this white-eyed vireo looks mad:

10. Warblers get all the love.
9. He woke up on the wrong side of the vine tangle.
8. He's trying to cash in on some of that Mad Bluebird photo money.
7. He got drunk last night and people are confusing him with a red-eyed vireo.
6. Fall migration is a pain in the vent.
5. Hates the sound of a spishing birder.
4. Did not sign a model release for this photo.
3. Has been trying to tell people for years that he's not really saying "Quick get the beer check!"
2. He needs new spectacles.
1. Since he ate that banana slug, he's been constipated for weeks.

In late August the Chef went all out and made my birthday super special (see here if you weren't following at that time).  It was honestly the best one of my life.  Unbeknownst to me, however, someone had done a little "shopping" in my suitcase while we were at the hotel and I returned home without several of my choicest pieces of jewelry.  Right after my birthday we left for Canada and I noticed I couldn't find a ring and a necklace while packing my bag, but chalked it up to having just misplaced it upon our return from birthdayville.  Not so much.  Cut to present and I have thus far realized I'm missing two rings, two bracelets and two necklaces (swallows lump in throat).  Two of the pieces were Melinda Maria (this ring and this cuff) - and you know I wear her jewelry 95% of the time (because it is in almost every single blog post) - so after suffering for the past few weeks I couldn't take it anymore and decided to jump off my wallet and replace as much as possible (3 pieces aren't even made anymore just to add salt to the wound).

First stop:  Melinda Maria.  I called her studio and explained the scenario which was like crying on the shoulders of my best girlfriends.  Back in the spring when I attended a private showing we did a giveaway and, as we were talking about recent events, the other day decided to erase a bad experience with a good one.  So you know what that means, right?  It's giveaway time!! Yahoooo!!

So here's the piece we selected for one lucky winner - it is my most favorite to date:


One lucky winner will win their choice of this ring with either white or black cz stones - the black stone version is not even available for sale yet anywhere and is a part of Melinda's upcoming collection.

And now:

THE DETAILS
*This giveaway is open to all U.S., Canadian and Overseas readers.  The entry period will run through 11:59pm PST Thursday, October 21st, 2010 and the winner will be announced on Friday, October 22, 2010. 

HOW TO ENTER - please leave a separate comment for each entry

*For one entry you must be a follower of this free bird via Google Reader (if you aren't already :)), AND leave a comment on this post stating you have done so.  Be sure you either leave an email address or have a link to your email on your blog so that I can contact you if you win.

*For additional entries: follow this free bird on twitter.

*Blog or tweet about this giveaway and leave a separate comment with the link back stating you have done so.  If this helps for twitter:  Just entered great @birdgirlc #giveaway for a Melinda Maria Oxidized Link Ring! http://bit.ly/akrDBj

* and of course visit Melinda Maria Jewelry and let me know your favorite piece of jewelry.  Prepare to swoon!

I will contact the winner after next week's draw to find out your ring size (it is available in sizes 5 - 8), color preference and mailing address.  Good luck everyone!!

And p.s. - Have a great weekend!  Any special plans?

Last week I was tagged by Lori at Wildflowers and thought I'd work her questions into today's post.  These are always fun to do so here we go!

• What is your favorite time of the day?  Ooooh this is a tough one for me.  I'd have to say late afternoon when the sun is shining through the windows in the living room.  I love to curl up on the couch and take a deep exhale while Nancy Grace gives someone a grand rip from the television.  That toasty light makes everything seem right in the world.  Or is that Nancy Grace? hehe

• Where and when did you meet the love of your life?  I met the Chef about 10 years ago and, honestly, he kinda annoyed me (he knows this so I can say it).  I mean I thought he was nice and everything, but he was always bugging me with his jokes.  Little did I know he thought I was the cat's meow...cut to present and we've been dating for 2 years.  It's a long story.  Kind of like a novel - met through friends and kept in touch, I was dating someone else and living in Washington state, eventually moved to California but he was living in New York and we reconnected a few years ago.  I used to try and help him get dates and my bff Corey would always say he thought the Chef liked me.  I thought he was nuts.  So much for that! 

• What 3 words would your friends outside the blogging world use to describe you?  Loyal, feisty, smart.  (and shoes).

• What country would you like to visit and why?  There are so many I'd like to visit, but Italy tops my list right now with Israel being a close second.  Italy because I visited once for a couple weeks and don't feel as though I really got to take it all in.  There is so much to see and the pace of life makes sense to me.  I want to take in the little towns and the big cities - as much of the country as possible - and soak in every bit of the rich culture I can.  Maybe not come back?

•  What is your favorite dish to cook?  Roasted chicken.  I know that sounds weak, but it truly is.  All you have to do is throw it in the oven with potatoes and carrots around it, but I've had some messed up chickens in my time and this is one that I do well!  Wait.  Is cheesecake a dish? (or only in my world?)  Because I'm very good friends with cheesecake, too.

• Salt or sugar?  This is a tough one for a girl whose favorite afterschool snack was Old Dutch Ripple Chips dipped in vanilla ice cream...Both!  I can't choose!!  Chocolate covered almonds, cashews, macadamias, walnuts - salt and sugar!  help!

• What are your must have make-up or beauty items?  I am not that great with make-up and, as a result, don't wear much.  As a teenager I was convinced that having to wash it off - especially mascara, eyeliner and eyeshadow - would cause wrinkles.  Yes, even then I was thinking of what lies ahead. There are a few things I do feel lost without:

• What are your favorite flowers?  Gerbera Daisies, Peonies and Orchids.  All three have the ability to brighten my day in an instant.

• What do you think are your worst vices, honestly?  I need to learn to slow down and consider that what I'm doing may not be the top priority for the Chef.  (hangs head in shame)  I also need to get away from the computer and learn to have better balance in my life - outside, outside, outside.  It's not so fun to be around someone who is always attached to their phone or computer.  It's a hot mess.  And when I'm stressed out I can be a hot head.  I always say - I'm the verbal cuisinart, don't get caught in my blades.  And I'm not kidding.  My friends laugh when I say it, but it is true and it's not always the best quality to have.  Confessional over and out.

•  At what time of your life were you the happiest and why?  You know this is a great question and I've thought about it off and on all week.  Do you ever have those seasons in your life when you pause for just a moment and realize it's one of the best times and you need to savor it?  I feel very blessed to be able to say this has happened more than a few times in my life.  When I lived on Day Island in Washington - hands down one of the best, if not the most content I have ever been.  I had a great community of friends that were more like family, I loved where I lived - the most amazing renovated older home right smack on the water, my boss and the job I held was just wonderful - it was almost idyllic. And most importantly I remember it as the first time in my adult years where I was truly comfortable with myself and at peace with my life.  Every room had a water view and I had the best landlord ever.

Anyway!  Thanks so much for tagging me, Miss Lori.  This was fun!!  And now I will pass this along to the following people:

• Marcie at Lemons & Laundry
• Katie at Fashion's Maven
• Lou at Lou, Boos and Shoes (if she hasn't already done it)
• Heather at A Measure Of...
• Claire at Bicoastally

And really - anyone who wants to take part.  Please let me know if you do.  I love reading these things and would be interested to hear your responses!

I realized something when I went out yesterday evening.  I don't get enough time outside.  I haven't walked briskly in the open air along the trail by the beach in months (I used to do this almost every day).  When was the last time I read a book cover to cover?  I cannot recall.  And how about Pilates?  (something I used to love and look forward to just for the sheer joy of stretching and relaxing) Honestly?  I can't remember the last time I did a full work out or Pilates session more than a day or two in a row.  It's been months.

My heart sunk as I stood in the open, breezy air as people walked by with their dogs and each other or alone.  All the things I'm neglecting are healthy for my heart and soul in the most intrinsic ways.  They make me who I am.  When I was thinking back on all the fun tourists I've met out on walks...oh the conversations I've had and stories I could tell.  And books?  Books are some of my best friends!  I have been robbing them of my time.  Truthfully?  I've been robbing myself.  Of just slowing down and pointedly taking time every day to focus on living and thinking, not doing.

Do you ever feel like this?  Like you're just going, going, going and you know things are slipping, but then one day the weight of it all bears down on you in a passing glance, a visit from a friend, or the wind in your hair?  Things have got to change.